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Fun Pages: Work in progress

Here are some pirate and treasure hunting jokes as published on our Facebook Group.

Please send us more!

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01

My Parrot died yesterday.

He was 12 years old and very obese.

I thought I'd be upset, but to be honest, it's a weight off my shoulders.

02

Why could the pirate not stop thinking about sailing?

He had ship for brains.

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03

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A pirate named Ronny gets promoted to First Mate.

Ronny is pondering life one day as he's giving the captain a shave.

"I'm not a very good pirate," he says to the captain. "I can't navigate, and I don't know how to fight. I don't even sound like a pirate. Is there a reason you chose me as the first mate?"

"Aye Ronny," says the captain.

04

Did you hear about the new

‘Pirate Booty of the Caribbean’ movie?

It was rated Arrrrrrh.

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05

A book never written.

“Pirate Gold” by Barry D Treasure.

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06

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07

In the late 17th century on an island in the Indian Ocean, a schoolmaster decided he's sick and tired of teaching spelling and grammar to children all day. So, he quits his job, sells his house, and plans to become a pirate.

He goes down the harbour and buys a boat and hires a crew. Once his team is ready, and with the captain/former teacher at the helm, they head out onto the high seas.

They spy a merchant ship on the horizon and start chasing it. As they catch it up, the captain tells the first mate to command the crew to prime the cannon. The first mate sends the message down, and the crew ready the cannonballs, prepare gunpowder, and take aim at the merchant ship. The first mate runs back up to the helm and says, "Captain, the cannon be ready!"

The captain turns to the first mate and says, “Aaargh!”

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08

Why did the pirate put a chick on top of his treasure chest?

Because eggs marks the spot.

A pirate and his parrot were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a courageous battle. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, the pirate stumbled across an ancient lamp. Secretly yearning that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie came forth.

However, this particular Genie asserted he could only deliver one wish, not the usual three. Without bestowing any thought to the matter, the pirate blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into rum!" The Genie clapped his hands with a loud crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum they had ever savoured, and Genie vanished.

Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two considered their circumstances. The parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled juncture spoke: "Now you've done it; we're gonna have to pee in the boat!"

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09

What is the worst nightmare for a pirate on a blind date?

A sunken chest with no booty.

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10

What is a buccaneer?

A pretty high price to pay for corn.

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11

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his breeches.

The bartender says, "Hey there, you've got a steering wheel on your crotch,"

The pirate replies, "Aaargh, it's driving me nuts."

12

What did the pirate do after his parrot bit off his genitals?

He got a woodpecker.

13

What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?

He got marooned.

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